Resurrecting Your Marriage after a Wilderness Season

I’ll never forget the phone call that changed our family forever. “She just passed away,” my husband said. “The kids were with her.”

My stepchildren’s mother had been battling cancer for more than a year. Randy and I didn’t know how sick she was until the end. My mind wandered to my 14-year-old stepson and 19-year-old stepdaughter. How unfair for them to now face life without their beloved mom.

Where would the kids reside now? I thought. Would we bring them across state lines to live with us? How would they cope with such a significant loss during their teenage years? Why, God? Why didn’t you answer our prayers and heal her?

After nine years of marriage, our stepfamily relationships were in a better place. We survived the early integration years with five kids in a “his, hers, and ours” family. Relationships were finally coming together, and I was looking forward to the years ahead. What I didn’t know then was the wilderness season our marriage would endure after that devastating loss.

Emotions ran high, and we didn’t easily agree on answers to our struggles. I had just finished an internship in grief counseling and thought I knew best what the kids needed. But Randy was quick to remind me they were his kids.

The needs of our marriage quickly sidelined as we agonized over how to navigate the road ahead. Our focus pivoted to helping the kids cope with their grief, understanding what they really needed, and keeping our family intact against a harsh backdrop. Orchestrating everyday demands of five kids with changing dynamics and a high emotional climate overshadowed the needs of our marriage, creating a wilderness with long stretches of lonely roads for me and Randy. The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

For The Full Story

https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/blended-family/remarriage/staying-married-remarriage/resurrecting-your-marriage-after-a-wilderness-season/